<3
:D
ALL NIGHTER
there are just some things that piss me off even if its none of my business.
i really wish my face wouldn’t turn red so easily… it gives people the wrong idea.. sigh.
i feel like when i go to school everyone is invisible to me except for a group of people i actually care about…
MATH 2
was so easy<3
but i have this horrible feeling where i skipped a problem but im not sure if i skipped it on the answer sheet.. so all my answers may be off by one..
D;
hopefully i did well on bio.. so i don’t have to retake it along with chem….
sometimes
people just need to shut the fuck up and stop getting defensive over the things i say.
yeah sometimes i sound a bit arrogant when i talk about colleges or whatever. but i personally don’t think i’m being a snob when I look down on cal state schools. Why? because why should i go there when i’m trying so damn hard to get into somewhere prestigious. I can’t go out an party and socialize all the time like everyone else. Boy friends don’t even sound appealing they just sound like a waste of time. I can’t just sit around for a day doing nothing or watch movies all day. NO because if I do i’m just one step closer to screwing over my chances (that are already low to begin with) for schools like Cal Tech. Honestly the only reason why i even care to take so many AP classes is just literally to challenge myself.. because thats the only way I am going to ever learn. and I know its literally a requirement for me if I want the future I want. My future isn’t the same as your future and thats fine but people who don’t want my future just look at me as some over competitive academic nerdy lil whatever you call it. I AM NOT OVER COMPETITIVE. but if doign things for the future I want makes me over competitive then whatever call me that. I don’t try to take every AP class out there I don’t compete with other people over grades on a test or class. I am just doing what I need to do to succeed. is that so wrong? Oh and what really pisses me off is the fact when people get into a shitty college and then complain about their lives. If you think your life sucks now shut the fuck up and go do something about it and stop acting like a victim when people call you a failure. You obviously cant fix the past that you fucked up but at least you can fix your future. I don’t look down on people who end up going to UCR or a Cal state or even Chaffey. I look down at people who don’t even have a single thing that motivates them to do well in life. I HATE the people who just take the easy way through life oh and if they cheat their way through life. I only try so hard because at least if I fail i know i at least tried my best.. sure i might be kinda depressed that I couldn’t live up to my own standard but at least i tried my best. But i will never cheat my way into anything. There are some people who go to nice prestigious schools like stanford who i have no respect for because they have shitty morals. I hate people who have money to buy them anything and I hate the people who just cry and beg their way into everything. ahh i feel liek i jsut changed the point of my rant but whatever. but anyways people need to calm the fuck down. I don’t like being called an over competitive snob as much as people don’t like being called stupid. I like it when people who don’t get into an amazing school like yale or want to still look at me as a person and can understand that we just take different paths for the futures we want but that doesn’t make us so much better than the other. we just have different goals. I respect anyone who tries their best to achieve their dreams.
again
trying to study sat 2s for this weekend but something keeps bothering me..
and laying here in my room makes me realize how lonely i feel all the fucking time. I really wish i had like a brother i could actually get along with or like… a roommate or something i mean.. i have 3 beds and if you count the one i made on my floor with blankets thats like 4 beds LOL. but yeah i wish there was someone else living with me sometimes..
its really sad to say but sometimes i wish i had a brother who was smart and talented and mature and basically someone i could relate to. my brother is so stupid and i feel bad saying this knowing he has some slight immaturity problem. but i just can’t get along with him. can’t even get along that well with my mother either… I want that brother that i can mess around with and share things with and just call him my brother with admiration instead of shame. so basically i just want a guy best friend i admire that i can love like a brother.
i like having friends to talk to because i really do get lonely but sometimes i feel like i’m bothering them when i continuously ramble on and on about nothing LOL. i’m not even looking for a lover i just wanna talk to someone just so they can keep me company. when i look back at it now i realized i was a pretty lonely kid too… i always wanted to go out to someones house and play….
but i feel like sometimes my feelings get misunderstood… or i get too mixed up in what other people are thinking. I don’t like being talked about or more like i don’t want to hear anything bad about me coming from people i care about. so i just isolate myself.. making myself even more lonelier. but i rather have that than complications.
i sometimes hate seeing happy siblings and stuff or ppl with their super sister-brother best friend relationships because i get sooo jealous of their relationship… i really wish i was them at times…
i have close guy friends.. but i don’t see any of them like my dream brother or like that PERFECT compatible person for me. its not bad lol i love them still for putting up with me. but idk when its times like this when i feel hella lonely nothing can really bring my moood up until i forget about it…
i feel liek im rambling on about nothing… LOL.. kay time to go study sats and shuttup
5 hour energy extra strength
i am never drinking that again.
first off it didn’t keep me awake for 5 hours it instead kept me up for a good three hours before my head started to hurt and made my head hurt so much i had trouble falling asleep for the next two hours… I also woke up to my head hurting… and now i just feel tired… so yeah never drinking that again…
